Honey Badger Don't Care!

Feb 25, 10
Lessons are Meant to Be Learned!

..."I hate making mistakes, but seeing as how I am not perfect, I make them all the time. I, unlike most people, am willing to take chances on trying new things even if I think they might end up being a mistake. It is how I have managed to become a more well rounded 25 year old. Throw in a little life experience, and viola... You have me. I certainly have enough things that have happened in my life to make me bitter and cynical, but am surprisingly not. How did I do this? I embrace life. It isn't always easy, and generally I fight with it, but I would rather fight with my life than fight with everyone in it. I find peace in the fact that as bad as my life has been there is always someone out there that has it worse than me and it helps me to keep things in perspective. But that is just my life in general... what about love?

Is it soul mates, or destiny... or just plain luck that leads us to the one that we spend forever with? I hear people talk about having a "type" all the time, and it makes no sense to me. I can't see myself only dating blond haired, blue eyed heartthrobs, but that's not to say that I wouldn't either. I am more attracted to a type of person, and looking for someone that is a good match for me on a different level. Because I am divorced I feel like I am pretty knowledgeable in the things that I look for and avoid in relationships. I have ended up with some people that fit well into those categories and they haven't worked out, so I have done what I can to step out of that, and it hasn't worked out either.

So what is it? Bad timing? Wrong person? I have no idea. What is it that we are supposed to be looking for, and how do we find it? I know that I am not necessarily looking to be with anyone, especially right now coming fresh out of something, but is it going to just fall in my lap? I am no love expert, and I don't claim to have any idea what I am doing, but I hope with some diligence that I find something in someone that speaks to me, and makes it all fit. There is someone out there who will mend the pieces of my broken heart. Someone who can fill in the cracks left by someone else. Maybe I already know him, or maybe he is a complete stranger... but I obviously need to say a small prayer and cross my fingers that he finds me, and i find him, and at the end of that day we are able to go on and live the life that was intended for us, together!

I just want a teammate in life; someone that will go to bat for me, and let me be their biggest chearleader. I need someone motivated so that they can understand my undying drive to succeed at whatever I am doing. I need someone strong so that they can pick me up when I fall, and understand that I may not need them to. I want someone who is creative, and interested in learning new things. I need to be stimulated but also want to feel as though I stimulate someone else in the same ways. I want to feel safe and comfortable in his arms, but not smothered by them. I want to have someone who takes things day by day, but isn't scared to look towards the future. I want someone who is spiritual, and believes that there is more to life than just us, and is willing to be open to religious ideals, and the faith that comes with it. I need someone that is appreciative and down to Earth. I want someone who is honest, and kind, but upfront and not afraid to speak their mind. I am sure I could go on and on... but generally, if you are a good person and will love me and my child unconditionally... I am willing to give you a chance to prove that you can be these things. Maybe they are ridicilous, but because I am willing to be all of these things for someone else, I will continue to hold on to the idea that there is someone out there willing to be all of these things for me!"....