Be the BEST you... TODAY!!!

This kind of reminds me of the classic line from Talladega Nights, "If you ain't first.... you're last!" 

But nevertheless, I like it because it is true... I have decided that being politically correct only works about half the time, so here is another little motivational ditty...

To me.... this is HILARIOUS!!!!!!! And totally true. "Seize the hell out of this day!"

The only thing that I have to say today is this:

You only have one life.... why the hell would you waste a single day in it. I know that people don't always agree with me, the things that I say and do, or the way I choose to live my life, but I say to them, 

what are YOU doing that is so much better?!?!

If there is a person in this world that can match my level of drive, work ethic, passion, and willingness to learn and want to succeed, I will high five the shit out of them and ask them to be on my team. I might not do things the way I am "supposed" to, or follow the path that everyone else thinks I should, but why would I?

I am me.... You are you! I won't judge you for doing the things that you love, as long as you are doing them 100%.  I don't care if you bag groceries at the store or are the CEO of a multi-million dollar company, but you better OWN that job. I might just be a bartender or a server at a bar while I am getting on my feet, but I am going to work that job like it is paying me the same as the CEO of a major corporation. And for the sheer reason that you never know WHO you are going to meet, or WHAT they can do for you, and every person wants to work with someone who works hard, and keeps a smile on their face while they are doing it.

My recommendation to everyone today is simple.... If you are already at work, come back from lunch and act like you just got a promotion and you have a new standard of work to uphold. If you are about to go to work, walk in like you have been conquering the world all day and you AREN'T stopping now. 

Take every day and make the most out of it....

If you don't, then what is the point of getting out of bed??

Now go out, and BE SOMEBODY!!!!

Fake it till you make it...

The funny thing about feelings is that YOU are the only one that has control over them. You can let someone piss you off or just get over it.  You can become overwhelmed with a situation, or take a deep breath and attack it in full force. You can be depressed that you lost your job and sit around moping about it OR get motivated to get up off your butt and get another one.

A miraculous thing that I have realized, and practiced, over the last few years is "fake it till you make it!".  If I am in a bad mood, I acknowledge that I am in a bad mood and then fake being in a good one. When people ask me how I am doing, I could catalog all the reasons why my day is sooooo shitty, and why I am in a terrible mood, and don't wanna be there, but who is that helping? So, instead, I LIE!!!

"I am fantastic!! How are you??"

Amazingly, that person IMMEDIATELY feels the need to compensate for their mediocre day and cheer up. RINSE & REPEAT! What is even more incredible is that after doing this over and over again, at some point you will look up and realize you are ACTUALLY in a good mood.  You ARE having a fantastic day. Through getting in a habit of this, I have realized that I am the one who determines my mood, and I am the one who gets in the way of it. There is no reason for me to sit and wallow in a pool of my own self pity. So what if I got a phone call that made me a sour puss. How much time is that person worth me being angry?!? 10 minutes? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 week?

Only you can decide how long to hang on to these things, and only you can decide to let them go. The same goes for negative thoughts. Based on the situation I have lined out above, I think you see a pattern in the power of our thoughts. If you want something to happen, then you have to believe that it can.... NO MATTER HOW BIG IT IS! Believing that it is possible, even if it seems unreasonable, is the only way that you will feel confident enough to go after it in the first place. If you say to yourself every day that you are going to get a promotion, and anytime something bad happens at work that distracts from that, you have to SHUT DOWN the negativity and immediately revert back to thinking that you ARE going to get a promotion. And not just thinking it, but truly BELIEVING it.  And I am even willing to take it a step further and say that you need to be thankful for it as if it has already happened!

If you allow room for doubt in your mind, then you allow room for failure in your life!  You cannot question your own value because it will cause others to underestimate your worth!! People perceive you the way that you present yourself, and if you lack faith in yourself, no one else will believe in you!

Take today to think about all the good things about YOU! Think about your ideal life, and the goals and aspirations you would want but are too scared to go for! WRITE THEM DOWN and repeat them every day like a mantra. Carry it in your pocket. Write it on your mirror. Have an alarm remider on your cell phone. Anything that will keep those goals present and in the forefront of your mind, and what you will begin to find is that ,without even knowing it, you have started doing little things to work towards it.  You will look up and be closer to your goals than you thought you would be, and you didn't even realize you were trying.

Now just imagine what would happen if you made a CONSCIOUS effort!!!!

Food for thought!!!!

The Fit Vlog is BACK!!!!!!

The Fit Vlog is BACK!!!!!!
I am prolly gonna die... again!
But it will be worth it when I have a 6-pack in my coffin!

Vliggity Vlog: So Far This Year

Another compilation video of some fun things that have happened so far this year.... funny moments, and lots of awkward laughing! You know you will love it when there is a video involving dancing, singing, ice cream, racial slurs and shooting guns! Killing zombies.... DUH!

The Vliggity Vlog: Finding Some Happy-ness

The Vliggity Vlog: Finding Some Happiness!!!

It had been a while since I had edited a video... I got a little bit low-key depressed for a min... but I am back now and can't wait to keep making these. More to come, whether you like it or not!
<3

Who's really holding you back?!?!

I learned a very interesting and valuable lesson this week....

I may be my worst critic, but being hard on myself is part of what keeps me going; Keeps me moving forward. I have the right to choose my own path, and though I may beat myself up along the way about this or that, it is really because I want to be the best of the best. What ever it is that I decide to do I don't wanna do it half-assed. I am the one with the power to make OR break what happens. I can chose to do or not to do things, to eat or not eat right, to exercise or not to.

I have to be the one that takes responsibility for my actions and I can't let anyone else's opinions come in the way of what I do. My success or lack of it isn't going to affect them, so why do I care what they think. If I am not satisfied with my body, for example, it will show in the way that I carry myself which could cost me a job, and that affects ME and my kid.... not whoever told me that I was already too skinny and needed to put on 10 lbs. likely because it would make THEM feel better about themselves.

I have figured out, and don't know if it has been said before or not, but...

"You can't let someone else make you believe that your dreams are unachievable because they weren't able to achieve theirs".

People wanna give advice to help you "avoid making the same mistakes that they did", but life is full of mistakes, and you learn the lessons that make you grow by making them. Without them there is not growth... no forward motion. I used to say that my biggest fear was a Fear of Failure, but then I heard this,

"To increase your success rate you have to be WILLING to double your failure rate."

What that says to me is that you have to try. You have to be willing to take a chance.... and the thing that I find the most interesting about the word "chance" is the double meaning.... As a verb it means "to risk", but as a noun it means "fate".  I don't think that it is a coincidence that in the same word you get a key to life...

Even fate requires risk.

You can lead an animal to water but you can't make them drink.

You can be prepped, and groomed, and even trained for what you are MEANT to be doing, but unless you actually take what you have learned and apply it to actually doing it then everything you have been through is null and void.  You have to be your OWN motivation. You have to make the decision.

You have to take the chance to do these things and YOU are the only one that can stop yourself from success, and I will say this.....

I REFUSE TO BE THE ONE THAT KILLS

 THE DREAMS I HAVE SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE LIVING FOR.

I WILL take the chance, and though I may fail, I WILL try!

Will You?

This week I feel POOPY!

This is how I feel everyday! 

I know that it is dumb.... but this is my life. I realize and will be the first to admit that I have a skewed self perception, but it is an everyday struggle.  Like the FIRST picture, people look at me like I am damn crazy, and then like the second picture I get home, look in the mirror and see myself completely differently than everyone else. It is not quite as severe as that, but it is something that I have a problem with. Normally I squash it, and just go about trying my best to be as healthy as I can. I want to eat well and exercise, and do all of it the right way, but then THIS week, for some reason, and for the second time in my life, I am having UNhealthy thoughts. And I am willing to admit it to you guys right now, because I feel like in some way it is going to be therapeutic. 

Now I guess I can be more specific about unhealthy thoughts...

Extreme dieting, diet pills, Aderall (for appetite suppression), diet pills, eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia), extreme exercises......... and it is like a constant spinning in my head. It is terrible.... and why? Why now of all the times that I have been down and out, and stressed... why now? It doesn't make any sense. Granted, yes I am PMS'ing but Jesus, Lord in Heaven, what is my problem. I know that by admitting this to you guys, that there will be people who think that the weight that I have lost up to this point was done UN healthily as well, which is NOT true AT ALL. I have worked REALLY hard to get where I am and it sucks to have these thoughts creep into my head.

It is partly the industry, because being in the entertainment industry does knock the shit out of you most days. Models left and right are too thin.... but I know MOST of it is all bull shit. I noticed today that every single person that graced the cover of magazines this month were getting slammed by US Weekly about being too thin, which sets a complete double standard.

Please someone tell me what we are supposed to believe.... You look  at these women on the covers of these magazines and they look so healthy and beautiful and then they are slandered on the same shelf for being too thing and accused of eating disorders. I don't know. I mean, hell, Audrina is on the cover of Shape this month, which is a HEALTH and WELLNESS magazine. So I am not sure of what the standard is supposed to be, but I know what my competition looks like, and IF I want ANY chance of being on the cover of Glamour, InStyle, or Shape, I better get on it, and stay on it.

I am in no way saying that I actually think I am fat, or that I really will go to extreme measures to get to where I think I need to be in this pea brain of mine. What I am doing is saying that part of the reason I got out of the "industry" in the first place was because I lost a friend to anorexia, and I saw what this business can do to people, and I was not in a good place mentally, and I was worried about succumbing to it. I wanted to feel normal. I wanted to be held at normal standards. I wanted to go back to feeling good about myself because I was better than average at most things, and I took some sort of pride away from that. 

Here I am now, 8 years older, 10 lbs heavier, and going back up against the 17 year old version of myself. It is a bit of a mind fuck! Here is the good news, cause Lord knows we need it, otherwise I will have people start an intervention and try to have me committed....

I might be 8 years older, but I am 8 years smarter as well. I am 8 years more experienced and I am 8 years more well rounded in my talents. I will kill these young skinny bitches at the things that really matter, and I am better off for it. I am not perfect, and damnit I earned it. I will not be taking any extreme measures, so no worries, but I felt like letting them out of my head, because being alone with them in here was killing me.  I am sure that these thoughts and worries will pass with my PMS and I look very much forward to that. My only requests are these:

1. Please don't give me a hard time about giving myself a hard time. It is counter productive. I am my worst critic by a LONG shot and you just need to let me work it out in my own head, and help me focus on the things that I am good at.

2. Please understand that I hold myself at a different standard than most people... and for most it is completely unrealistic and unattainable, but I genuinely feel like I can reach it, and therefore ask you to revert back to #1.

3. I know that I am thin and do not like to be told that I am too thin. I also don't like people trying to accuse my weight or choice to not eat meat of being the cause of me getting sick from time to time. I have talked to my physician in GREAT detail about all concerns located above and the diagnosis is this:

I am at a healthy weight, and even if I lost another 5 pounds, my BMI (body mass index) would still be considered healthy.  My diet is wonderful, and I have one of the healthiest sets of eating habits she has ever seen, especially considering that I am a diagnosed Compulsive Eater.

And lastly, the catalyst to me being sick all the time is that I am over working and under resting. I don't sleep enough people, and burn my candle at both ends. Stress is what is killing me.... not being thin. So if you have a problem with it, then SUCK IT!

I know that I cause my own problems, so please do me a favor and don't make them worse.

I am working through my problems a day at a time. I am sharing because even I, the person everyone comes to FOR help and advice, sometimes NEED a little help and advice.

This is a it of a tangent, I know, but for some reason, the last few days, I have not been easily able to shake the negative thoughts, and that just will not do. I am hoping that my venting here will help me clear my head, and I appreciate all of your understandings....

Goodnight sweet world, and keep your heads up!