It's been a minute.....

Don' be impatient... I haven't gone anywhere...

But you remember when your parents used to say, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!" That should answer your questions... if you even had any in the first place. 

In the last couple of months my life has done a complete 180.... I thought I was on one track and it seems that I was derailed.  But the most amazing things have happened, and I am back on the track that I SHOULD be on.  I am not going to be on here ranting about anything negative, because there is no reason to revisit anything that made my life less than it deserves to be. What I would like to do is tell you some of the things that I have learned and how it has catapulted my life to be everything I said it would, even though when I said them, I thought they were ridiculous...

When you love someone and do whatever you have to do to make it work, I thought that was what loving someone meant. I realize now, that you ARE supposed to do that, but when the other person loves you back, they are aware, and don't take advantage of it. There is a balance, and a mutual respect for your love and your relationship... and at some point, you have to put that energy back into all the pieces of yourself that you sacrificed for someone else. 

My goals when I moved to LA were that I wanted to have a manger/agent within 6 months, and I wanted to be going out for a full length feature film or TV series by June. I have now accomplished both of those things, and I could not be happier. "Why June?" you might ask. Well, June because it is the 6th month of the year and I wanted to have made incredible strides within the first half of the new year, and because my son is coming to LA for the Summer and he comes in June. So I wanted to be establishing a momentum by then so that I wasn't so stressed and struggling when he got here. 

In this process, I have met some of the most amazing people, and started to do some of the most amazing things. I finally have people surrounding me that not only understand the things I want, and am trying to do, but are fully supportive and generate a creative energy inside me that fuels me to do things I never thought possible. I have started doing things I never knew I was capable of, and am creating and being more than I thought I could, and it has changed the way that I view my goals, and made them even bigger and clearer. 

Bigger?!?! Bigger than winning an Oscar? Bigger than having my own TV show? Yes... bigger  because I feel them more strongly and deeply. I feel so much more convicted to them than I did before. I was still hanging on to fear.... the fear of failure. Fear of not being good enough or deserving enough of my dreams. I know now that I not only deserve everything that I can dream of, but that the sky is the limit, and anything less than that, I prevented myself from achieving. Why the hell would I EVER do that!?!? 

I also realized, that losing love is a very sad thing, but it opens the door to find the right kind of love. The kind that opens your heart back up, opens your mind to the belief that it is possible, opens your eyes to how you should be loved, and opens your life to being shared with someone who balances it, as well as lifts it up instead of holding it down. Regardless of heartbreak, and I have had many in my life, I have never lost faith that "true love" exists for everyone, and the things that it should contribute to you. "Fairytale" relationships can exist, but it isn't up to you to make both sides believe it.... I have realized that the other person has to be the one to make YOU believe it. But you have to stay open to the idea of it in the first place. I know that I am not where I thought I was going to be right now, or with who I thought I would be here with, but I am in a BETTER place and with better places come better people. You don't find Prince Charming in the slums! And you have to know you deserve it.

Life is a funny thing, but when you know who you are, and what you want, it is your job to do what you need to do to put yourself on the right track. Once you are on that track, everything else falls into place, and you start to meet the people who are on the same track as you and aid you in your goals... even if it is just by knowing you can do it. A simple phone call or text to let you know they are there and thinking of you, and life is suddenly one step further than you thought it would be. Surrounding yourself with these people is one of the most important things you can do for you and your dreams! And as hard as it is, everyone else is expendable. I hate to be that blunt, but let's be honest, deep down you know that those people would just as easily get rid of you for their own personal success. 

I can say with all honesty and conviction, that I am the absolute happiest I have been in a VERY long time, and right now I have found such contentment, that I don't know that I could be any happier at this moment than I am. I have been working on trying to stay present, but I always have my future in the forefront of my mind. I refuse to lose sight of my goals or let anyone think they can take them from me. My life is mine, and I have taken full responsibility for it. Every minute of every day should have intention, even if that intention is to finally let yourself have a little fun. It has to start somewhere, and it will always come back to starting with you. 

Put a smile on your face, a song in your heart, and one foot firmly in front of the other. 

Rinse and repeat!

You need to see this!!!

Every once in a while you stumble across something that brings up emotions in you, and you don't know why! THIS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS!!

All I can say, is watch this and see if it touches you as well! It is a beautiful performance, in one of my favorite forms of art... DANCE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=gOheCGjXoLg

I have been crying for the bulk of today!

There are a few things I feel the need to talk about today... partly for explanation purposes and partly just to get them off of my chest. But I will start with what happened to bring these tears to light.

I got a mildly distressed phone call from my ex husband in regards to my son, and his behavior recently. Right before I moved to LA, Tyler was diagnosed with ADHD and they were recommending medicines and all sorts of things. I am generally opposed to putting him on medicine, as I also have ADHD and have never been on any medication for it. I look at the fact that I have extra energy as a blessing because I have been able to do more than most people in very short periods of time. But I am also a female, and I know that boys have more energy and I didn't think it was fair to my ex, my family, and his family to be so objected to the meds, when they were going to be the ones taking him full time, since I was moving. So I let them make the decision. Apparently, they are having some trouble administering his medication to him, and when he isn't on it, he is acting up and it has finally gotten to the point where they are talking about suspending him from school, etc. When I got this news, I was distraught. Mostly because I feel bad that I am not there to help more. I am not there to give support. I am not there... in general. 

There are hardly ANY people in my life, or at all, that understand why I moved, and left my son in Dallas. Most people think I am a selfish, self-centered person. They think that I should have put my dreams on the back burner when I had my son, and that THEY would have made a different choice. And they are right... but I tried that....

For those of you who don't know the whole story, I will give you cliff notes version:

I got pregnant and had a baby at 20, out of wedlock, and scared to death. When I found out, I never once considered giving him up or terminating the pregnancy. He was my responsibility and I would have to figure it out. And I did... tried to make a family he would be proud of, had a "normal" day job, making salary and all that. Got married, bought the house.... and I was miserable. You can't make your life into something that it isn't. You can't make someone love you who doesn't, and you can force yourself to be happy doing things, and living a life that you don't love. I was willing to forget all of the things that I wanted for myself, to give my son a better life, but the question that I kept asking myself was "If I am unhappy, how happy could he be?"

The hardest decision I had EVER had to make was breaking up my family. We were miserable... we fought all the time and it was void of any true love. We weren't together because we loved each other, we were together because of our son. It was noble, and we made a valiant effort, but when it wouldn't work, it just wouldn't work. After the split, I started to learn more and more about myself and the things that I wanted to do, and the life that I wanted to be able to provide for my kid. But most importantly, the example that I wanted to set for him in the life that he was going to lead. I am not perfect, but I could never live with myself sitting there telling him to follow all of his dreams if I hadn't done the same. 

So after 4 years of being on my own, and trying to "make it work" in Dallas with very little success I was at that line again. I was working anywhere from 2-5 jobs and up to 21 hours a day trying to make ends meet while still TRYING to pursue modeling or acting by any means necessary. I was working a little bit, and things were moving, but VERY SLOWLY, and I was looking at the progress I had made in 4 years and thought I was never going to be able to make a change at this pace. I was hardly seeing my son as it was and getting nowhere quickly. I would have to make a decision... I was either going to have to give up and settle into a normal life that I was just going to have to "live with" OR I was going to have to go "all in" and really give it the effort that I had yet to be able to. 

I have been in this industry for a very long time, and I know when it is time to cash in your chips, and this wasn't my time. I feel a fire burning inside of me and I know what I am capable of, and it took me realizing that to finally make a decision. People let what other people think govern so many of the decisions they make and I had done that for SO long. I came to that fork in the road, and a decision HAD to be made... and it was THE hardest decision I have EVER made.... EVER!

So what do I do....

 Follow my dreams and be everything that I could be and change the life of my child and hopefully millions of others as well, but the cost is leaving him for a while and sacrificing that time knowing I will never get it back. Or stay, live the life that everyone else tells me I SHOULD be living, to give my son a mediocre life, and possibly be resentful forever.

I never wanted to leave my son. To this day, saying goodbye to him breaks my heart. Knowing that I would meet moments when I felt helpless, and angry, and regretful. Knowing that there would be times he would want or need me and I couldn't be there. Knowing that there might come a day when he chooses Texas over me. But I didn't leave him under a bridge. I didn't abandon him with a bunch of strangers. I didn't dump him off.... I spent 5 months planning the move and working it out. Tyler is in the middle of his first year of Kindergarten and everyone and everything he knows is in Dallas. It didn't make sense for me to fight to take him, and even more importantly, it wouldn't have been the right thing to do. It wouldn't have been fair for me to do that to him. I made the harder decision... the UNselfish one... leaving my son with people who love him so that I could go out an change his life. 

There is no way around it.... I put my career and future above the immediate needs of my kid. But on the flip side, I also prioritized enriching the lives of millions over the life of one. What would you do?

The same could be said for people in the military, who leave their families to protect the best interest of people they don't know, and they have the possibility of death to consider. I am not saying I am a martyr who deserves the same respect, but what I am saying is there are plenty of people who choose to do good for more.... more people, more lives, and a bigger purpose. 

Most people think I am delusional, that my dreams are outrageous, and that it is silly to believe that I have a chance to be all the things I say I will. Maybe I am... but for every person that has made it, there was a lifetime of people telling them they were crazy, and would fail. And the one common trait in every single one of them is that we are ALL a little bit crazy. You would have to be to make it in this industry or even to believe that you have a shot. But to overcome the obstacles, and actually break through that ceiling and prove everyone of them wrong IS how you make the difference. It is how I grow stronger every day. It is what keeps me going, KNOWING that one day I will look back at this and LAUGH. 

I am not trying to be an actress because I want to be famous. I am no Kim Kardashian.

I want to do this because I was blessed with the talent to do it, and the drive to make it happen. I was born with the innate ability to captivate an audience, and make people listen. I have everything it takes, PLUS a work ethic to make it happen. And to make it would change everything. I would be able to give my son everything he has ever needed. I would be able to see him whenever I wanted, and watch him flourish. And maybe, just maybe, I can change even more lives than just his. Maybe I can inspire someone else to try and change the world too. Maybe I can beat the odds, despite my situation, and be the best version of myself. Maybe I can show people that with enough drive, and enough belief, you can do ANYTHING. And maybe the person I want to see that the most... is my son. 

What if the only way to SHOW your kid how to do that was to do it yourself?

Would you?

Would you sacrifice a little bit of time with your child if it could change their life?

If you weren't in your OWN way, would you say no to your dream?

Do people think I am a bad mother for leaving him... yes. Do people think I am stupid for trying to do what I came out here to do... sure. But what will they be saying if I am able to do all of the things I said I was going to... 

nothing. 

I am very lucky that I have people to help with my son so I could come out here and do this, regardless of how they felt about it. He has a father who loves him, and a family who cares for him in my absence. If he didn't I would have brought him with me. I am glad he has the support that I don't, and I wouldn't have it any other way. He needs it more than I do, and the time away from his serves as fuel to my fire. 

You don't have to understand my decision, and you don't have to like it. You can judge me and think poorly of me all you want. I knew it would happen and planned for it. The reason I am upset is not because I care what you think of me, it is because I care what my son thinks of me. I don't want to let him down. And because of that, I know I won't. I am going to be someone that he is proud to call his Mom! And maybe I was that to him before... and maybe I would have always been that, no matter what. But I would never be able to live with myself if I somehow put a limit on what he was going to be able to do in his life, and how happy he would be, by doing the same to myself. 

Maybe you can live with that...

But I can't!

A few bits of knowledge I have learned about LOVE!

I had a really interesting question from a good friend of mine spawn the idea behind today's entry. She asked me, "Would you rather have the people who love you at your wedding or decor?" And the amazing thing to me was that she thought the question was retarded. My answer was simple, "It is about you; nobody will remember the decor except through pictures." But as I sat and pondered what she was going through, planning her wedding and trying to make everything come together in the final few weeks, I started to think about all the things that matter in relationships and how realizing what is important has helped me through some interesting changes in my own.

I wrote her another response, but instead of just copy and pasting it, I am going to elaborate on some things that I have learned and how I genuinely think that most people FUCK UP their love lives. (and please know I am just as guilty of this as anyone!)

I am a worrier. I couldn't tell you why. It feels like a deep seeded issue for me. (LOL) But I never have a more vivid imagination than when I am worried about something. SO, NOW...

When things start to stress me out or make me worry, I have learned to start asking myself 

"Will this matter in a week? Month? Year? Five years?"

Most likely, the answer is 'NO!" but if it might then THOSE are the things you should actually worry about. Otherwise you have to learn to let the little things go. Life changes daily. There are no two days that are exactly the same, and you have to be willing to change with it. The same goes for your relationships. And not just boyfriends/girlfriends or husbands/wives. But family and friends as well. 

You have to know that there are two people involved and life is evolving for you both and therefore your relationship needs to have the ability to evolve with it. Some people call it growth, some call it sacrifice, some call it settling, some call it compromise.... 

Whatever you call it, doesn't really matter.

The point is simple:

We get so conditioned to believe that relationships HAVE to be a certain way, down to the steps, the receptions, etc., and I am learning that is not the way things are. Every relationship is different, but all the ones that work are also the same too. 

When I was 16 years old, working at a small diner in Garland, TX called "Babe's Chicken Dinner House", I waited on a couple in their 80's and they were being so sweet to each other.  At the end of the meal, the husband asked me for the biggest piece of pie I had because they were celebrating. I asked what the occasion was, he told me they had been married for 56 years. When I asked what the secret was he called me close down to him, so I was level with his face, pointed to his wife sitting across the table, and said, "You see my wife? Isn't she the most beautiful woman you have ever seen in your life?"

I was speechless. THAT day changed the way that I looked at love. I realized that he still saw her the way that she looked when they met. I watched them closely the rest of the meal, and they acted like 2 kids in love, playing and laughing... holding hands and blowing kisses across the table. And when they left he grabbed my hand and simply said, "You have to be willing to fight for them, even if it means fighting with yourself."

I took that to heart that day. 

You will never be able to control someone else, not even your kids! (Lord help me!)

You won't be able to control who they are, the things that they do, or say. You won't be able to make them into something they aren't or be who you want them to be. When you are in a relationship with someone you have to love and accept them for who they are and support who they want to be. You can't hope they will change, you can only help them to grow. But know this as well, you can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves. And that isn't your fault. Your only job is to let them be who they are going to be, and do what they are going to do, and let the love that you have for them be there when and if they fall. 

The way I see relationships since my divorce are like a partnership. I want a teammate. I want someone in my corner, cheering for me, but that is also trying to take the world on with me. You need to be with someone who makes you want to be the best version of you and you need to inspire them to do the same. Supporting one another, but also giving them the space they need to flourish. And it is a hard thing to do, because our ego wants us to be the center of their universe. We want to be the most important thing in our lover's life. But just like a sports team can't be carried by one player, your relationship needs both sides to be strong as independents so that it has a foundation to grow from and the strength to support the other side if one has a moment of weakness.

We all fight. We are all different people, from different backgrounds, raised with different ideals and values, and with different dreams and aspirations. If we were all going in the same direction at the same time, life would be boring and none of us would learn anything. So when you find that person that makes you think, and makes you dream, and feel invincible.... you have to fight. You have to struggle with them, and yourself to make it work, because if you don't then it is all a waste. And you have to fight that fight forever... and know that even after the careers, and the wedding, and kids that the one thing you will still have is each other and the love that you share. 

The dentist that I worked for told me a long time ago, 

"People spend more time planning their weddings than they do their lives together."

At the time I was young and naive and I didn't fully grasp the concept of what he was telling me, but now, that I have been married and divorced... it all makes sense. 

What is a wedding? 

wed·ding

   [wed-ing]  Show IPA

noun

1.

the act or ceremony of marrying

What is a marriage?

mar·riage

   [mar-ij]  Show IPA

noun

1.      a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife 

Is the wedding important to us? Yes,  but your wedding is about showing people how much you love each other, and no one cares about anything else, cause 5 years from now, they won't be talking about the wedding, they will talking about the life you have lived together since then.

"The things you remember aren't how good the food was, or what the centerpieces looked like. You are going to remember the looks on each others faces when you walk down the aisle, and how you smashed cake on each other's faces after the cake cutting. You won't remember whether or not the food was perfect, or if all the bridesmaids had the same hair style. But you will remember the father-daughter dance, and his Best Man's speech."

Your relationship is the same way from your perspective. The things you should cherish about your relationship are the way he kisses your forehead to make sure you know he loves you. The nicknames you hope don't stick but do. The way that he loves your cats. The way she packs you snacks before work just in case you get hungry. The sweet notes you leave on each other's cars. Your little inside jokes. Waking up to the scent of the flowers he bought you. The new things you saw and learned together. How even after the "puppy phase" was supposed to wear off, you still get giddy every time you see each other. The times you surprised one another, just because. Finishing each other's sentences. Looking back on conversations you had about how great life was going to be, and laughing cause it is better! 

Some people would call me a hopeless romantic, but everything I listed above, is my life. And I have chosen to cherish and fight for the great things. No, my relationship is not perfect, but that doesn't mean there is any thing wrong with it. I choose to be happy. I choose to love. And I choose to be loved. And to me, all that other stuff... just makes you appreciate the good that much more. If you feel like there is something missing in your relationship, lead by example. Do for your significant other, all the things that you want them to do for you. 

"Be the change you wish to see." -Ghandi

You have just as much power to make your relationship EVERYTHING you want it to be and MORE. Fairy tale relationships CAN exist... you just have to be willing to believe in them enough to try. And by changing your perspective just a little bit, you will see an immediate difference in the path that your love takes. 

Happiness is a choice... so why would you choose anything else?!?!

  

What to Eat Wednesdays: Fish Tacos w/ fresh mango salsa, & Cilantro Lime Rice

What To Eat Wednesdays:

Every week there will be a new recipe that adheres to the following 5 guidelines:

1. Easy

2. Healthy

3. Delicious

4. Inexpensive

5. Under 500 calories/ serving

I will also include alterations for specialty diets (upon request):

-Vegetarian, Vegan and Gluten Free options.

TODAY: HEALTHY FISH TACOS

One of my favorite things in the WORLD are Fish Tacos. And mango salsa just happens to top it off SOO well! So, this is a healthy option for amazing fish tacos that are tasty and easy to make in the comfort of your own home.

Prep Time: 10 min

Cook Time: 15 min

Serves: 4 fish tacos

Cost: Under $25 (I forgot my receipt... again!)

Your shopping list this week includes:

Tilapia filets (or any white fish that you like)
Tortillas (I used flour, cause I like them better)
1 mango
1 small white or red onion
Minced Garlic (or 1 garlic clove, minced)
Lemon juice
2 roma tomatoes, or 1 lg tomato
Fresh Cilantro, 1 bundle
1 whole jalapeno
1 sm habanero (optional)
Honey
Cabbage, or lettuce
Favorite seasonings
1 bag Cilantro Lime Rice (frozen food section) or you can make your own... I have done both. --Making it from scratch tastes better, but takes a bit longer. You can also just "spruce" up the bagged rice if you are short on time.
Plain Greek Yogurt- for dressing

SO here we go!!!! 

You want to start by prepping the mango salsa. This takes the longest, and you want to give the flavors time to develop. You could even do this the night before if you want. There will be left over salsa, and it does get spicier the longer it sits. SO GOOD!

Alright.

One mango diced
1/2 small red or white onion diced
2 tomatoes diced
1 clove garlic minced
2 jalapenos diced
1 habanero - optional (I like it spicy)
tbsp spoon honey
salt & pepper to taste
hand full of cilantro- chopped

Mix it all together! And place it in the refrigerator until the meal is done. If you still feel like it is missing something, lemon or lime juice and garlic salt usually does the trick!

Heat a pan on med/high and spray with non stick spray. Season fish as you like. I used Ms. Dash spicy, and lemon pepper. Then sprinkled a little bit of sea salt. Put 2 tbsp of lemon juice in the pan and add fish filets. Sear on both sides for 5 minutes.

Lower heat to med., add a little more lemon juice to coat pan, and cover. Keep covered and continue to cook for 5-10 min, or until fish is browned and flakes when forked.

While fish is simmering, cook rice by directions on bag. Once cooked, add a little bit of lime or lemon juice, and garlic salt. Maybe a little bit of butter if you like.  Cover and simmer until fish is thoroughly cooked.

Heat tortillas on skillet just to warm them on both sides.

I like to add a little strip of honey to the tortillas before I put the fish on. This is for 2 reasons: 1. It helps hold the fish in place, and 2. it makes it sweet and spicy, which keeps it tasting light and fresh. DELICIOUS!

Take fish filet and place in strips or chunks on tortilla over honey. 1 filet per 2 tacos. 

I made them 2 different ways...

The first way was less "green", by just putting the fish in the tortilla, topping with the mango salsa and a little bit of greek yogurt in place of sour cream. 

The second way is to take a cup of lettuce or cabbage. I used Arugula because I like the texture. Put 1tbsp greek yogurt, 1 tsp of lemon juice and a little bit of seasoning (even salt and pepper) and toss lettuce/cabbage and place over fish and salsa. 

You can also take the same "dressing" you tossed the cabbage in, and use it as a dipping sauce, and it is amazing. Add 1/4 cup of rice, and top with a little more mango salsa, and you have yourself a DELICIOUS meal. I loved every bite of this. 

 For just the tacos (w/ no Greek yogurt):

Serv. 2 tacos

428 calories, 5g fat, 70g carbs, 29.75g protein

2 tacos w/ 1/4 cup of rice (no Greek yogurt):

 464 calories, 5.65g fat, 77g carbs, 30g protein

Just tacos w/2 tbsp Greek yogurt:

440 calories, 5g fat, 71g carbs, 32g protein

2 tacos w/ 1/4cup of rice and Greek yogurt:

476 calories, 5.65g fat, 78g carbs, 32.65g protein

You could also opt for a low carb version, and scrap either the rice or the tortillas, or BOTH! :) If you are watching your sugar, lose the honey, and if you don't eat dairy, drop the yogurt. But this is a very good recipe, flexible and easy to modify if you need to. 

HAPPY EATING!

I am constantly looking for requests on either a previous meal I have cooked or one you would just like me to try. Or I am ALWAYS up for a CHALLENGE. There is no limit... ask away!!

Happy 50th Post!!!!

HAPPY 50th POST!!!

Yay! I can't believe it... this is my 50th blog entry in this blog. I realize it doesn't seem like that many, and I look forward to many more, but this is a good reason to celebrate. And I am so excited! 

So I was trying to think of what I should post on the momentous blog and I thought I should maybe tell some jokes. 

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying on the front porch?"

...

"Matt."

::crickets::

**taps microphone*

"Is this thing on?!?!"

Ok, so as it turns out, I don't know any good jokes, so it seems I am gonna have to come at this from a different angle. Just have to figure out which one...

See this isn't just any old blog post. This is the 50th one.... and I realize in blog years that really isn't that many. But when you just happen to look up one day and realize you have already posted 49 times, it can come as quite the pleasant surprise. However, I was suddenly overcome with this pressure, like I had to make this one the best one yet... and I hope I can live up to my own expectations cause in all honesty, I am probably the only one that is going to read it anyway.  

SO now that I am being serious, I would like to take a few minutes to thank everyone for all of the support that I have been shown over the years. I don't think I am extraordinarily smart or funny; I don't always say or do the right things, and I am terrible at arm wrestling. 

But I care... genuinely and truly from the deepest parts of my heart and soul. 

I actually give a shit!

I want to help people, and make them laugh, and help them find ways to make themselves happy. And I hope that if you are reading this, that at some point, I have been able or will be able to do just that for you. At least a little smile... just one.... You know you want to!

Because I have this theory that one little smile can go all the way around the world. So I go out and try to make one person that I DON'T know... smile, as well as all the people around me. You change one person's day and domino effect begins. All it takes is a little extra effort. This can be applied to pretty much anything, but I am a bit of a hopeless romantic about love and life in general. Even though life has tried to show me otherwise, I stay true to the belief that life is what you make of it. And if we all tried to be happier, then guess what... we would be. And not just ONE of us, but ALL of us. 

I really believe it. We all go through shit. Some people's is worse than other's, but we all have it.  Everyone has had problems, and everyone has worries, but it is how we handle them that changes the outcome. And we have the opportunity DAILY to make those changes. One of my favorite quotes sums it up best:

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift.

That's why it is called the PRESENT."

-Master Shifu, Kung Fu Panda

Take advantage of today, because we are not promised tomorrow. But look to the future and be grateful for the things you wish to see in it. And insert a whole bunch of other fortune cookie saying in **here!

No it all sounds very vague, but it kind of has to be. I can't tell you anything about tomorrow. I know what time I have to wake up to be where I need to be, and I know where that place is, but what happens on the drive there, or once I arrive... I only wish I knew. You have the same predicament. The only think I know for sure about MY day is this...

Tomorrow will be even better than today, because I said it is. And I will make it so. 

You have the power to do the same. 

I will end this with a humble thank you. I can't do any of the things I want to in this life without your support. Just the simple act of reading this is amazingly impactful and I am so grateful.  

"Be the change that you want to see in the world."

-Ghandi

And you can start... with yours........

Valentine's Day! Love or Hate!?!?

It seems like everyone is very strongly on one side of the fence or the other about Valentine's Day:

Love it or Hate it!!!

I am one of the very few that sit on the fence. I love what the holiday represents, but hate what it has become. 

Every person, especially males, think that it is a "Hallmark Holiday" "created by companies to make more money off of the hopeless consumer."

Here is what I think...

I am 100% and advocate for a holiday that celebrates love. I have said before that there is more to it than being in a relationship and buying each other pink and red things and making the world know for 1 day a year how much you love that person....

That is what it has become, but that was not how it was intended.

The same could be argued for EVERY single holiday. Birthdays are another good example. Why for ONE day a year do we make that person feel special and loved? Why do we only celebrate their birth on that one day? Why not make them feel special EVERY day, or once a week... month.... year..

oh wait!

Life has a tendency to get away from us. One day we wake up and realize we are back at the holiday we thought we just got away from. We HAVE to have holidays to remind us to celebrate certain things. We have anniversaries to have a date to reach landmarks by, not so we can remember we are in a relationship. If that was the ONLY day you appreciated you loved one then you probably wouldn't reach your next anniversary, but that is no reason to not celebrate the day you officially committed yourself to another person. 


We celebrate things like Abraham Lincoln's birthday, not because that was the only day that mattered to him, but because he had a lifetime worth of actions that deserved being honored. Holidays are meant to be just one day that signifies something much more than a single day can contain. It isn't the holiday's fault that we are lazy by nature and forget celebrate daily. But it is not our fault that we are too stressed to let ourselves...


To me, the fact that in a society that loves to prey on negative attention, controversy, hate and strife, we still have a holiday that is based around celebrating LOVE... is amazing. And somehow people want to try to prevent me from enjoying it... I don't think so. 


Valentine's Day is meant to celebrate love. Not just your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife.... or even your crush. What you should be celebrating is the fact that you are able to love, and are then loved in return. Whether it is friends, family, kids or someone you just met... you have the ability to love and that is something to be celebrated with the people around you. 


Does it mean you go out and spend oodles of money on crap that doesn't last and you won't remember after the terrible day you are going to have at work tomorrow? Does it mean that you love your significant other more on that day simply because it is a holiday? Does it mean that you make it more than it should be simply because a commercial sets a certain standard?


NO!
I am not saying any of that!
Not even close!


What I am saying is this... I go out of my way to make sure the my boyfriend knows how much I love him. Little notes on his windshield, cards or little crafts "just because", or mid-week bubble baths just so that we can spend some quality time together. But I know that I make a conscious effort to do so, and I also know that life is busy, stressful, and full of surprises both good and bad. Sometimes we forget to let the people we love know how much we love them. Sometimes we forget to make them feel special or tell them how much they mean to you. Valentine's Day is a day when you are given the opportunity to do it... You are given a chance to do just a little bit more, and constantly reminded of it. 


You can't walk into a local store of any magnitude without being blasted in the face with Valentine's Day cards, flowers and a plethora of other knick knacks and thinga-ma-jigs. But if you really want to do something special you will skip it altogether. If you want to do something special... make a memory, and celebrate the ones you have already made. There are a million different ways that you can show someone how much you care, and only you know the ways that will impact the people around you. 


So you could avoid this day completely, and be bitter that you HAVE to succumb to a holiday that society skewed without your permission. Or you could take the power back into your own hands, and make it a holiday you are happy to celebrate because you get to do it your own way, and on your own terms. 


So what will you do?
Cause I know what I am going to do...
And I know deep down you know too.


Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!!